Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” – Thomas Jefferson

I love Lyle Lovett, but I really only understand about half of his songs. The other day I was randomly looking at his website and two of his song titles jumped out at me: “Nobody Knows Me” and “Here I Am” (I’ve posted the two songs at the bottom of the page). I thought the titles of those two songs (not the lyrics) kind of describe me before Amanda’s illness and now after her passing.

Amanda always described me as “the cutest invisible man she knew”. Some might have assumed that her light was so strong and bright there was no room for mine to shine. If you really know me, you would understand that I have no desire to be in the spotlight. My light shines as the stage manager and not as the star performer. I think the song “Nobody Knows Me” captures it perfectly.

Shortly after the funeral my brother Stewart made an observation to my sister Jennifer. He noted that all of us were starting to take on different aspects of Amanda’s personality. We were all acting differently in slight ways as we were trying to emulate her and hold on to her for a bit longer.

As I think back over the past nine months, I realize that I have changed. I think I have moved from behind the scenes to become a small bit player. I don’t think I’m trying to emulate Amanda, this is just the new me and it is outside of my traditional comfort zone. In her eulogy I commented that even during her illness Amanda found a way to introduce me to people who had known me my whole life. Well, “Here I Am”. I’m not center stage but there is a little of the spot light shining on me and it’s not so scary.

One of the things I loved about Amanda was also one of the things that drove me absolutely crazy – she would never let me rest. Amanda was always pushing me out of my comfort zone. She saw something in me that no one else saw and I think she wanted to share it with the world.

There were so many conversations over the years where she would push me, challenge me, hold me accountable, and call me out when I needed to be. It could be so frustrating at times and leave me with a pit in my stomach on many occasions, but it was always done with love. Even though it could be painful and emotionally draining, it made me a better person.

I have been wondering now that Amanda is gone, who is pushing me. I have come to realize that my friends and family have been lovingly, gently, and unknowingly pushing me out of my comfort zone and helping me to become the best version of myself. Thank you.

The seven items listed in the picture above come from a book by Andy Andrews called the “Traveler’s Gift”. I was introduced to this book at my job. We talk about and teach these seven principles in order to become better people. I shared these with Amanda one time and she immediately fell in love with them. If you are looking to step outside your comfort zone or lovingly help a friend do it, these can serve as a good guidepost to help you on your way.

Go Be Awesome.