Less Saul. More Atticus.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” – Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

I have noticed that the past several posts have been more about me and less about Amanda so I was taking it as a sign to bring this blog to a close and move forward. Some kind friends encouraged me to keep this going. Even though the stories might be less about Amanda, they are all influenced by her as I still carry her voice with me. I hear her encouraging me to be the person she believed I could become even though I find myself falling short time and time again.

Several weeks ago there was a reading at church that really stuck with me. It is a popular story that is referenced all the time and for some reason it has stuck with me this year. The reading is from the book of John, Chapter 8.

Then each went to his own house,¹ while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.^*a2 But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and taught them.³ Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle.⁴ They said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery.⁵ Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women.^* So what do you say?”^b6 They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger.⁷ But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them,^c “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”⁸ Again he bent down and wrote on the ground.⁹ And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him.¹⁰ Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”^d11 She replied, “No one, sir.” Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more.”]^e

John 8: 1-11

I am always amazed how these stories capture so much with so few words. One thing that comes to mind for me in this passage is the story of Saul. Saul was a Pharisee and his mission was to eradicate Christians from the world. He traveled all over arresting Christian men and women for violating the laws of the Jewish faith. Saul would have been the first one to pick up a stone.

I can relate very much to Saul and I hate to say it but there is a lot of him in me. I have always been a rule follower. Always do the “right” thing and never rock the boat. There is nothing wrong with doing the right thing as long as we really understand what the right thing is. In the story above, the scribes and Pharisees thought they were doing the right thing by condemning the woman, but we learn what the true right thing is. The true right thing is to love.

This story also reminds me of my all time favorite quote from To Kill a Mockingbird (listed above). If there was ever anyone I aspired to be in my life, it was Atticus Finch. I admire how Atticus lived his life. He straddled different worlds but was always able to maintain his character, principals, and values. Just as Jesus shows us the right way of Big Love, Atticus always seems to be able to find what the right thing is and to stand up tall for it regardless of the circumstances.

It makes me sad to think of all the meals, memories, and friendships I have missed out on because I was too busy looking for a stone to throw when I should have been looking to give someone a hug. I find that I am not able to embrace Big Love when my arms are holding stones. Here is hoping we can all have a little less Saul in ourselves, put down our stones, and discover the Big Love to be more like Atticus.

Go Be Awesome.