Homemade stories and musings about life, laughter, loss, and love.
I’ll have to admit that starting this blog is a little intimidating and scary. There are so many things I want to achieve but most of it revolves around capturing Amanda and preserving memories so our future son and daughter-in-laws as well as our grandchildren will have a strong sense of who she was. Amanda’s grandmother moved next door to her when Amanda was 16 and she thought her world was over. What 16 year old wants to live next to their grandparents? Well, Amanda was blessed. She developed such a strong relationship with her grandparents and they became huge influencers and mentors throughout the rest of her life. So much of Amanda’s positive outlook and endless optimism stems from this relationship and I want our grandchildren to at least know how awesome their grandmother was.
A lot of this is also therapeutic for me. Although Amanda is gone, it is comforting to know that I am doing something to keep those memories of her alive. I was recently given the book “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. He wrote the book shortly after his wife passed away and in one passage he noted how quickly his memory of her was fading. As much as he tried to hold onto the sound of her voice, the tilt of her head, or the touch of her skin he was not able to. I’m hoping that jotting down as much as I can will help us all keep some of these happy memories around a little longer.
When we were all sheltering in place during COVID-19 and even into the early stages of Amanda’s illness, she and her business partner, Missy, were working to redefine their photography business. They had been successful in launching the business and growing it, but it needed a reboot.
As I was thinking about what the business should transform into I kept going back to how Amanda’s eternal optimism and positive outlook on life was one of her best qualities. I was pushing her to become more than just a photographer because she had so much more to offer. Over the years I had watched her give great counsel to our nieces and nephews as they navigated the ups and downs of boyfriends and girlfriends as well as job decisions and the challenges of school. She was also a great point person for new mothers trying to navigate crying babies, grouchy husbands, and the need to have a girl’s night out.
I really wanted her to write a blog centered around a photograph that drew out a particular point and maybe add one of her favorite songs or recipes to go along with it. I don’t know that Amanda ever shared my vision of what her business could become, but there is too much greatness about her not to share it in some way. Hopefully I can represent her properly here.
I know that over time Amanda’s voice will fade and mine will take over – there is no way to avoid that from happening. That is one reason along with the fact that I am trying to achieve so many objectives that this is intimidating. The amount of love, support, and grace that was shown to me during Amanda’s illness has given me the courage to move forward with this. Besides who’s going to bad mouth a guy whose wife just died.
My hope is that somehow through my attempt to capture Amanda, you will think of her, smile, laugh a little, maybe shed a tear or two, and then Go Be Awesome!
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